I can think of another way to use those straps . . .

This was a very pleasing first for me. The "front-loading, double-strapped nino carrier"-induced Muff.

I particularly enjoy the rhinestones sparkling in the midday Sun, holding my eyes even longer on to her shamelessly displayed rolls of fat. Also, who tucks a top like this in to capri jeans without a belt?

My future wife, that's who.

The muffled Muff

The one thing I despise on my South-of-the-border senoritas is loose-fitting tshirts. Where is your respect for you national heritage of eating a lot of bad food, not exercising, and wearing highly unpalatable clothing?

Sure, I give her credit for wearing very tight jeans, but I can barely see her MexiMuff under that billowy Goodwill-bought tshirt. You know, gas for a van my size is expensive. Make it worth my while.

Please send me better example: muff@mexicanmuffintops.com

The faces have been blurred to protect the Muffs.

I am not nearly as interested in the gut of my sweet jiggly Mexi-princesses, but this one is certainly worth showing because this gordita goes to no effort to hide it.

Her nino looks at her as if to say, "Mother, why must you embarrass us by hanging all your fat out of those ridiculous shorts?" I say, 'Because she knows I am sitting here in my van taking pictures and eating fried pork skins.'

You can see in the closeup that there indeed is back fat spilling over shorts that no 220-pound "self-respecting" woman would ever rightly be wearing. Thusly, she still qualifies as a MexiMuff.

Other close inspection shows this woman displaying the "butt-gut" where the belly is so loose with flab that it begins to fold over itself down the center line. I haven't registered "mexicanbuttgut.com" . . . yet.

You better be walking to a taco stand.

Being able to see my sweet MexiMuffs walk dows the street is such a double-edged sword. On the one hand, they are plentiful and easy to spot. All I need to capture their succulent, runny flab is to park my MuffHunting van outside a laundromatia and wait for them to swaddle by.

Yet, I am pained, because I know they are burning calories. I wonder how easy it would be to divert a few "Meals on Wheels" trucks their way . . .


You lucky perro, you.

The envy I feel for this MexiMan is greater than all the achievements of his Toltec ancestors. What we're witnessing here is the "novio", or "boyfriend". He is lucky enough to be able to walk hand-in-hand with a lady of tight jeans and overflowing back fat.

I do deduct some points for this seniorita showing a little more rump than I would prefer, but she more than makes up for it by cinching that belt so tight that her gordo blasts out of her trousers at me.

I suspect that you have seen some MexiMuffs in your área. Let me know about them: muff@mexicanmuffintops.com.


The canyons of the Sierra Madre

This Meximuff I nabbed was an easy spot. Droopy flab over tight shorts in a snug sleeveless knit number, including the double-stuff'd bra muff. The closeup reveals a delightful secondary characteristic of this particular MMT: NO PANTIES!

I have never seen "The Treasure of The Sierra Madre", but if I went digging in that canyon, I'd be the richest man in all of Guadalupe.

Your Mexican lesson for today: "Su nalgas es plana, y soy emocionado por su grasa de espalda.":

"Your buttocks are flat, and I am excited by your back fat."

Your submiciones: muff@mexicanmuffintops.com

We Were on VH1's "Best Week Ever" (the website)

Last week, in fact:

Hey, and more user submiciones:

These are reportedly from a McDonaldos in Roswell, Georgia. It's also known as Roswellito, Jorgeorgia for those who do not appreciate the great Mexican influx we enjoy.

Kudos to the brave MexiMuff tracker for taking these photos out in the open. Fast food establishments are like the high school girls' locker room of Mexican Muffin Tops. You're guaranteed to see exactly what you're looking for when you go inside, but how to discreetly take a photo?

I am particularly impressed with how this lady managed to take something fairly loose-fitting like a McDonald's uniform and squeeze out her gordo by wearing very tight pantalones. ¡Vaya con queso!


User Submiciones

Since our public debut, a few email submissions have indeed trickled in, including this one:

This lady does indeed appear to be Mexican by her skin tone and body type, though there always remains the chance of Egyptian or Indian. I would likely rule those out because there appears not to be any lower back hair.

Additionally, poor ole' Muff believes the picture to be Google Image-searched, and not original material. Regardless, this young lady is certainly in the spirit of this fantastic world of Latino back fat, no bottom, and poor fashion choices. Señora Lumps!

Plus, here's an email that makes me hopeful, and a little "excited":

Aug 12, 2008 2:57 PM
love you!
I was sitting outside the grocery store actually responding to a friend about the number of mexi-muffs at a local mall -- all thanks to your informative website -- when what comes walking towards me? The pregnant version of the mexi-muff -- The Egg McMuffin.

As you say, they don't let a having kids stop them from letting the gordo hang out, and they don't let being knocked up stop them either. I wish I had gotten a photo, but I was awed at the timing of it all, and completed repulsed.

We love your website! We read it every day! I WILL send photos!

I'll head out later this afternoon in my Muff-Hunter van to snap more of my own shots, but keep those submissions coming.


Sweat Pantalones, How I Wish I Could Smell Thee

What really makes these women special to me is the rainbow of tight sweatpant colors they employ. Well beyond the standard black, they will hit red, pink, green, and my new favorite, brown.

Mexican for "brown" is "marrón", FYI. Bonus points for the bra-induced "top-muff" as well.

Mini Muff

Sometimes you're just in the mood for a snack, and you want a bite-sized treat. Such is what my suave senorita gives you. Bonus puntos for keeping the top so tight that a triple-layered muffin forms above the tight white jeans.

Strike a Pose

If only all of my panecillos, (I think that's Mexican for "muffin") were as sassy as this little lady, we could start a new Bravo show, America's Next Top Mexican Muffin Top. It makes a whole lot more sense than Mexico's Next Top Muffin Top, don't you think?