Pink is the new fat

From another Flickr poster in Montreal:

Fat is the new pink

It's hard to tell if Meximuffs in Canada have crispy, crimpy hair because of the dollar-store hairspray or they just don't dry it out fully before going out in to the frigid weather.  I suggest all my Canadian Latina stalkers try this simple experiment:  

Dip a ball of toilet paper in rubbing alcohol, dangle that from a tree, and sit by with a bottle rocket out of sight.  When the cheeto-eatin' chica walks underneath, launch your bottle rocket at the wad, and see if it sets her hair alight.


The owners of Mexican Muffin in no way endorse violence.  Unless it's against your manhood when checking out these hot fatties.

Flour, sugar, lard, butter, brown sugar, and then some spray cheese

From a Flickr poster, who has a recipe for all of us, "This girl was no more than 13. Yet the yeast has been added and the muffin top is rising. She's not even chubby. She just added the important ingredients: tight belt, low rise jeans, short tank top, stir until mixed. Serve warm. ":


It's pretty evident that the MexiMuff gene is solely located on the X-chromosome. That cuts my work in half. Now, to find a microscope, some sort of cutting device, and some genetic human blanks. Give me a few years, and I think I'll progress beyond the "pile of goo" stage to the "horrible genetic mutant, but, hey, look, she kind of has a muffin top" stage.

Image Hosting

"Stuff" Happens

From a Flickr poster in Las Vegas, who opines, "Sure it's outta focus, but just LOOK at that muffin top! I mean, I'm not knocking the happens! But hey, make the appropriate wardrobe adjustment PLEASE! ":


The only adjustment necessary to this situation is my nose closer to those stretch pants.

Exclamation Point!

Turniquits aren't just for Civil War battlefields anymore

From a Flickr poster from NYC who says, "Just to prove the muffin top is not limited to LA.":

Wide Stance

This proves a whole lot of other things as well. I just figured out why the Latina buttocks are so small. Their tight belts are cutting off the blood supply to their lower body. But in the same way we let Chinese women bind their feet to make them small and sexy-like, who are we to tell the MexiMuffs that they can't bind their buttocks?

Judge not, people, judge not.

Cowboy hat in Seattle? You betcha!

From an Flickr poster, who says, "This girl was out in West Seattle one summer day and I can only assume she was on the troll for someone who enjoyed the top of the muffin. Although, the bottom of the muffin is pretty good too."

In the barrio!

I, for one, enjoy the reclamation of the US by Mexico. Sure, everything will smell worse and we will all be bored by the atrocity that is futbal, but the MexiMuffs will be on us like brown on beans.

Image Hosting


From Jeff of Tucker, GA:


If Chevrolet does go bankrupt, where will she get replacement shocks?  Then again, if Goodwill goes bankrupt, where will she get replacement sweat pants?  

If I go bankrupt, I'll be right in that back pocket.  Just smellin' stuff.  Just smellin' stuff.



"Big Brown" again:

Plan for flab
"If you get the family plan, not only do you get free phones for your ninos, but you'll get rollover minutes . . . Oh, sorry to use them term "rollover". I know it's a sensitive issue for your people."



From "Big Brown", who writes, "I work off Sidney Marcus and Piedmont, so I have the pleasure of unlimited pictures of muffin tops!"

Image Hosting

Mirror, mirror, on the counter, when will a gordita my mouth encounter? Of course fried bread has no chance, and I'll refuse to increase the size of my pants.


From Dolores, who says, "Coworkers and I saw this glorious blonde bomb shell @ Jack In The Box. Her beauty is so captivating ....."


This mountain of a muff has a large amount of options. She likes the bright pictures, but I'm sure she doesn't know what "teriyaki" is. I bet she can sound it out.

"Ter" is like "three", and "yaki" is like those guys who ride horses, so there must be three different kinds of horses in this dish. That's going to be white, black, and brown. If you don't think Mexicans eat horses, now you know for sure.


Game Over, Flan!

From a Long Beach submicioner:

Fat Chance!

If you pulled out a muff roll, would the whole thing fall down like so many Jenga games?  Maybe if you just kind of teased out the top left muff a little bit with your finger tip and blew on it a little.  Next time you see one, give it a gentle flick.  Either you'll find the answer to our question, or you'll hit the fabled Meximuff G-spot.  I like them odds.


Lake Muff-B-Gone

From "Jody", who says, "This lady was walking on the hike and bike trail in Austin."


It looks like The Dog Whisperer has taken to Meximuff Whispering as well. "If you follow thees trail, and hit a sharp right through the construcion, you'll be able to hit Burger King before they stop serving The Enormous Omelet Sandwich."

"Now, run my muff!"


"Well, you know, try at least."